I have these thoughts too and I'm a stoic. I think about wanting to be more independent... is just a symptom of a very, very unideal world. Feeling powerless, due to unideal, to say the least, circumstances... can definitely put a stoic into resignation. Or put anyone for that matter into a negative place. But lucky? for us, we have our gray blanket blinder on. You probably have the freedom need, too. Maybe you can try to put more spontaneity into your life, not that you need advice, but that helps me out. For example, I don't really go to the mall but the other day I just went. It was an interesting change of scenery.