What it's like to be a (fill in the role)....

[mtscholar]

I've been curious about getting an inside view of the roles in Essence other than Scholar (my own). I'll try to explain as best I can. I mean: what do you think about all / much of the day? What's your default thought stream about?

I remember Dave G. saying he often has a jazz riff going on inside that head of is. Very Artisan-y. As a language-oriented Scholar, I think a lot about origins of words and how best to translate a particular phrase in English into French or Spanish. Or I think about history. If you're a Server, to take another role, what do you think about? I know the specific content varies tremendously by individual and current circumstances, but I'm curious to see if the content falls into a more general form. Eg one Server may think a lot about taking care of her elderly dad, while another Server may think a lot about a business project, but do they both think about these things in a way which reflects "serving the common good?"

Does this make sense? I'd love to know what your typical internal patter is.

[Chiara DB]

Great idea, mtscholar! I guess the main track in my mind is the things I have to do and how I will best accomplish those things. I'm always looking for ways I can do the things I do better or more perfectly or aesthetically. I don't think this is necessarily the best way to be, because it ends up bringing me a lot of negative self-judgment and un-fun pragmatism. I see in this pattern not only my King-ness, but my Pragmatism, Arrogance and Impatience.

[jk]

Similar here - I mostly think about what I "should" do. Also having Impatience I am having hard time staying in the moment and always running ahead with my thoughts. I don't really think this is related to my Role.

[mtscholar]

JK, what is your role again?

[jk]

It's Artisan.

[doodeedoo]

i duno if this is typical but i'm a server and i think about what i would do if i was the leader. like how i would organize things better, clean up the surroundings, and sort of like how the tone of things should be set. i find a lot of people are not very warm or strong, for various reasons, maybe because they're insecure, and it makes the mood of the group bad. i think a lot about how to help the physical health of people too. i feel frustrated a lot because i see that things could be done much more efficiently and with a better spirit, but since the wrong people are the leaders everything gets stuck behind. i notice how the good of everyone is not a priority for them. obviously it can be very appalling to see individual gluttony and the destruction it brings. it makes me mad and i feel those people are not very smart or honorable, do not deserve to be leader and should not be accepted as such. i also feel like extending kindness and acceptance to people who are shy, ostracized or having a bad time. and i feel like defending them. many people probably feel that way though.  

[Chiara DB]

doodeedoo, I like the way your mind works. I think I had a lot of similar thoughts when I was in school.

This question is interesting because it reveals how we spend our days. doodeedoo is in school, so she has to kind of passively sit there and watch other people control things and how that affects the others who are also at the mercy of the controllers. I am a freelancer with many different tasks and obligations that I have to balance and be responsible for on my own, so my mind is focused on how to best do that. I'm not sure what mtscholar does for a living, but obviously it has something to do with language (same as me, I'm a translator). jk didn't really give enough detail for me to make any connection to her job, but it sounds like she is also inundated with various tasks throughout the day.

[doodeedoo]

hi chiara! word.   hey, kings and servers make a good team! school definitely applies but when i wrote that i was thinking more of national leaders who are not stearing the ship in a good way. for example, the current prime minister in canada who started the tar sands (oil extraction) up. this was a greedy and destructive decision to say the least. one which benefits few and harms many. i was also thinking of some groups i've been in.

speaking of leadership,
http://www.messagesfrommichael.com/messages/phys_destiny.html

[Betty]

I have been channeled as being a server.  And my own gut feeling validates this.  However, I don’t seem to fit what I’ve come to see as a stereotypical profile of a server.  For instance, I don’t volunteer, don’t do “good works”, don’t like serving others (they can serve themselves), and, while I love my grandchildren and they love me, I hate to babysit.  I can’t stand to hear about other peoples’ troubles.  I have my own troubles, and I work them out myself.   Other people can do the same.

There may be some people who willingly and happily live a life of service/servitude to others, but that’s not me.  I am quite intelligent and articulate, and my life is just as important as anyone else’s--I see no reason why I should spend it helping others at my own expense.  My time is as important as anyone else’s.

Of course, I do enjoy helping others occasionally, and I do have most of the attitude of the server—but only when I feel like it.  Don’t  expect  it of me.   My fulfillment does not come from serving others.  It comes from many different things.  (I will say that my “winning the lotto” fantasy has just as much to do with helping others monetarily as it does with helping myself.  But I think that might be true of everyone.)

I asked, in two different chat rooms, why there were not more servers represented.  The answer, very quickly given, was that servers were too busy serving.  What struck me was that both responses were given so quickly and were exactly--word-for-word--the same.  This leads me to believe that servers have been stereotyped as people designed to help others above all else, and that troubles me.   In my opinion, this is not good work.  I think other factors, such as overleaves, are far more important than the role.

[jk]

Chiara, I am a full time employed single mum of teens and I think that accounts for it
This is quite a helpful thread, because it turns my attention to realising what it actually is that I let happen in my head. I would not say I spend 100% of time the way I have described, its more that those kind of things pop into my head automatically. In general, my mind is very busy. I am Intellectually centered. Constant thinking. The racing ahead must be my CF of Impatience. I am trying to force myself to switch off, slow down, be in the moment, or at the very least to know that I am not. Sometimes it's such a hard work.

[John Roth]

Of course, I do enjoy helping others occasionally, and I do have most of the attitude of the server—but only when I feel like it.  Don’t  expect  it of me.   My fulfillment does not come from serving others.  It comes from many different things.  (I will say that my “winning the lotto” fantasy has just as much to do with helping others monetarily as it does with helping myself.  But I think that might be true of everyone.)

This is the essential piece that sometimes doesn't come through - servers are attracted to things that they feel are beneficial, not things other people think are beneficial.

One way to look at it is to look at the energy: ordinal inspirational. That means the drive is internal and looking for an outlet, which will usually be expressed in the immediate, not in the "big picture" things that Priests get involved in.

I agree with your other point: the standard answer for the lack of servers on the forums is a bit facile. It is, however, the only answer we've got. Nobody has done any real studies that I'm aware of.

John Roth

[Velleity]

Hmm. My mind feels constantly ablaze but it's surprisingly difficult to explain what actually goes on. Having scholar casting, I usually find myself researching personal interests. But I guess as I described my thoughts once as thinking about people and emotions, moods, psychological meanderings, fashion/style, history, literature, time-periods, architecture, art, etc. I'd say everything has the tint of being primarily psychological, humanistic, and mostly is in reference to My Self, which I think is mostly from being a mature soul in passion mode. Otherwise, I do look at my environment or "environments of the past", colors, shapes, people, energies, patterns of life... observational, then taking those things/people in and thinking about them.

i.e. I am affected by my environment, emotions and history, so then find myself wanting to get a lot of information or images on those things/curiosities.

I'm also always thinking in terms of self-actualization, and of trying to have more emotional awareness and to enjoy the vibrancies of life, liking to know how my emotions function, analyzing how I feel or have felt in the past. I also like daydreaming of developing and living my own lifestyle (or 'mastering' one). Being myself. I also think of what I want to put out into the environment, of what people will see when they see me, qualities, how I can influence my space/environment or the spaces of others.

So possibly, my thinking boils down to: how I influence things-environment-people and how things-environment-people influence me.

[Chiara DB]

Chiara, I am a full time employed single mum of teens and I think that accounts for it

I can only imagine how busy you must be!

This is quite a helpful thread, because it turns my attention to realising what it actually is that I let happen in my head. I would not say I spend 100% of time the way I have described, its more that those kind of things pop into my head automatically. In general, my mind is very busy. I am Intellectually centered. Constant thinking. The racing ahead must be my CF of Impatience.

I can really relate to this. I'm not intellectually centered, but I think I have the intellectual trap, so if I am not dealing with my emotions, the intellectual center goes into overdrive. I also have impatience. I was raised with parents who spent their entire lives essentially dithering and/or dropping the ball about everything important, so I am programmed to constantly be scanning the situation, trying detect what's not being taken care of or might not be taken care of. It's really a lousy way to be. I've gotten a lot (A LOT) better with this, but I'm kind of disappointed to realize that I still have a less intense version of this going on in my head.

I am trying to force myself to switch off, slow down, be in the moment, or at the very least to know that I am not. Sometimes it's such a hard work.

I can relate to this as well. I was meditating every day for a couple months, and that worked very well. I don't know why I stopped -- I guess my inner wounded child will do anything to avoid doing things that involve self-care. She sits there with her arms crossed and says "No, YOU take care of me, Mom and Dad!" Gotta have a talk with that one...

[mtscholar]

I'm a reference librarian, and when I first started in the profession almost 20 years ago, I was like a kid in the candy store.

[jk]

Well in that sense, I (Artisan) am as a kid in a candy store in Hobbycraft (Arts and Crafts store). The first time I got there, my kids (Warrior and Server, but pretty arty and crafty themselves), ended up having to ask "Mummy can we go now?"