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Messages - Velleity

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1
MBTI stands for Myers Briggs Type Indicator, but also is generally used to refer to the personality typology the 'indicator' covers (which involves 16 types of various functions).

For me my artisan ET comes through quite a bit, mostly because it's discarnate. And I think neutral scholar casting allows it to come through more clearly than it might otherwise. And it makes a LOT of sense for me, as I get some crazy dreams and very artisan-like things often coming through my sub-conscious. It's like my other half that exists in my head and helps me along in giving my king activities a creative twist.

Though that said, I also have sagey-priesty things going on because of my body type (mercurial) and being 6th level mature with some other inspirational overleaves. I thought I might have been a priest before I had my chart channeled as people always said I was very inspiring to be around (but I know now, that it's not in the same way that a priest goes about it, it's just that 6th mature thing).

But I also have a hard time sometimes teasing apart the differences in people who seem to possess both sage/priest elements. I think also perhaps they're similar because they can both be apt to spreading their word more verbally. My "word" as a king seems to be spread more through my energy and presence than by inspiring or writing (though I do write and inspire and art around). Though I know that priests and sages aren't necessarily outspoken or constantly talking (though some are, definitely). But yes, very similar because of the cardinality, definitely. And the weird undulating need to reach out to the "masses". Even though I'm very introverted, I still want my art someday to be influential to and seen by a mass of people, even if that's just in nz somewhere.


2
King / Re: Famous Kings (that I haven't seen mentioned elsewhere)
« on: March 02, 2012, 04:49:02 AM »
I do look pretty harmlessly cute most of the time, which I mostly attribute to my mercurial body type and scholar/artisan influences.

I think kings can have a fairly charming and smiling/grinning side though when they're entertained and in the moment.
Or a half-lidded seductive/regal sort of look, sitting back in their chair studying you.
Don't know how to describe it well, but it's something I've noticed. And you're right, it is complicated. !

Think also with eyes it sometimes helps to see them in action. Maybe? Myself and a warrior friend look VERY much alike in photos when we're both wearing our glasses. But in action, I think my eyes are quite a bit more focused/smoldering(?) and hers become more sagely alive and warrior-ly intimidating. i.e., "how" I look at things and focus on others can be a bit different from a captured photo-moment...

FWIW this is me.  :P
http://s22.photobucket.com/albums/b318/ithappenedagain/?action=view&current=Audryphotos130.mp4

Not a very clear video at all (sorry), but I have very few videos of me that are online.
I think my artisan-ness comes out quite a bit, because my ET is discarnate.


3
The Roles (or Soul Types) / Re: Understanding casting
« on: November 27, 2011, 04:35:43 AM »

I have scholar casting. And can see it pretty clearly, as most of the time it comes across first to others, before my kingliness... it was always that I was the one who 'knows/knew' something. Not always in a know-it-all way, but it's been a pattern that people assume that I'm quick on the uptake, know what's going on and that I'm always paying attention and will know the answer to their question, or will be able to help them. Random people often look to me for information/help.

Greg told me once that he felt kings were scholars on steroids. And that for a king with scholar casting it's much about "knowledge is power", with an archetype of "master librarian". Which I can see for myself. I'm also resourceful and have my own sort of library of sorts and I enjoy being called upon to be of service in that way. Recommending books, helping people find what they need (in a masterful way). I'd love some day also to teach a printmaking class or to actually be in charge of a small library.

Sometimes I get really bad about 'misinformation'. I don't like fuzziness, but, I also hate close-mindedness where the person won't consider other informational opinions or sources (that could be an effect of Flow too). But if something is being mis-interpreted or someone is being mis-informed, it takes a lot for me to not say anything. There's a home video of me at age 5 where my sister is being asked how old she is and she's holding up the wrong age (in fingers), and I am in the background looking directly at the cameraman going "she's THREE. NO, she's THREE. (how old are you M? 2?)...  She's THREE... " until I got my point across.

I cringe at people getting the "wrong idea", or if I'm not told the truth or am informed badly.

But yes, People see me as quite scholarly and as always having a book in my hands or in my bag.

It seems to quell the king energy, but works well with it most of the time.

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King / Re: Michael on submissive Kings
« on: October 02, 2011, 09:17:50 AM »

Funny! ;D

I don't know if my lowly stagnation (of flow) ever backed a blusteringly hard warrior art tutor of mine into a corner...
Though I did make him tear up and nearly outright cry when I failed the class. lol.  ::)

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King / Re: Famous Kings (that I haven't seen mentioned elsewhere)
« on: August 27, 2011, 06:47:52 AM »

How do you feel that people react to these people you've listed? What were your observations? That they're treated like royalty or looked up to (or are just in the spotlight)? Quite a few celebrities are.

It could all be in the casting or ET bleedthrough as well (as in the case of Jennifer Aniston), as that might be more apt to be seen or picked up on more easily by others... I'm sure people would guess me to be a scholar or artisan straight off, but then if they looked behind it they would see the kingliness there.

"Kings have Mastery of themselves, their things and other People and their things, too?"

Yep, most of the time. ;) (No, not really. But to some degree yes).

Kings that I haven't seen mentioned much are
Georgia O'Keeffe (isn't she one? I swear I saw it mentioned somewhere)
George Sand
Dakota Blue Richards (good example of a teenage king).

It's sometimes kind of hard to tell what "cold focus" is, as for me it mostly comes along when I'm... well... focused. Or angry/ticked off.
It's a steely focus that isn't as blunt as 'warrior' and not as hot as priest (hence "cold"). Sort of between those two.

It took me a while to distinguish artisan eyes from king eyes, as they both can kind of have a soft intensity to them.
My artisan bf has quite a steady stare that can be more intense than my own.

This is mostly how I see a "king" look. Kind of have to see them when they're angry or involved to get it.
Otherwise, in my opinion, it's pretty hard to tell.



Focused. Cold.

I don't know. It takes a LONG time and practice to get good at reading eyes. I'm not nearly there myself, but I'm getting the hang of it as time goes on. It's also reading their whole gestalt and seeing what sort of 'mixture' the person might be.


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The Overleaves (General) / Re: Changing...
« on: July 05, 2011, 03:41:48 AM »

Hmm, this makes me wonder if I guy I met a few years ago had a walk-in experience, as he had been kidnapped/abducted as a teenager and was kept for a while I think sustaining some injuries and serious trauma, or at least was in a coma for a while after they found him. Then he woke up from the coma and family members etc. said he just wasn't the same person. And he told me that he didn't remember anything of his former life, didn't 'know' his parents, didn't like them or their life or the house he and they were living in. In short he said it was like waking up to a house of strangers and feeling quite uncomfortable with the fact that they expected him to behave in certain ways when he couldn't remember at all what those 'ways' were.

7
General Discussion / Re: Self-Karma
« on: July 03, 2011, 10:34:03 PM »
I think I have self-karma going on. Even though I'm middle-class white and (mostly) heterosexual. But yeah, I think 6 level mature can generally dump the self-karma onto you no matter how you grew up or what your overleaves are like...

i.e., I have overleaves that are meant to help me savor life, but ironically that's been a huge lesson, finding out how to enjoy myself and to take it easy, to not be so hard on myself. And has been a lesson when they (passion, emotional centering, mercurial boy, 6th level mature) get out of control. They're either amazing to have, or very very disruptive. Most of my self-karma has been internal and psychological (as self-karma usually seems to be? Internal unbalance or disruption). Depression, hypersensitivity (in emotions mind and body), major stress from living in the modern world, thus having to live quite a solitary 'slow' life away from worldly achievement and worldly expectations. But my insides are usually ablaze with changes and movement... i.e. even though my life may seem slow and easy externally, it's anything but internally. I feel too hypersensitive and easily stressed to work at a full-time job, and have had to set up other boundaries for my self in order not to go off the deep end.

Michael has said that my last few lifetimes were lived very hurriedly and intensely, which left no room for digestion of my experiences. And this lifetime is definitely more slow, and any time I try to go too fast, life knocks me back into a place where I have to rest and digest. Like being on vacation (Flow) when you feel you're supposed to be working or doing something. It's hard to enjoy sometimes, but you know you'll enjoy it better if you just relax and truly take some time off to enjoy the scenery and your small experiences of leisure. I've also been blessed with a heightened awareness of time (or so Michael's said), and truly some days feel like I am fully suspended in non time in a non world, just being and breathing and appreciating. It's actually quite nice sometimes to feel that life is slower, or seems to go slower 'just for you'. heh.

But definitely my problems have also led me to delve more deeply, and am having to confront a lot of personal issues (am in therapy now, and it's great, should have gotten it a long time ago), and it's all possibly leading me to use these issues for self-expression and artwork (which is what I've done in between depressive breakdown things). I still have a huge urge to contribute something to the world, to be out there in a way, even though certain things would make that a kind of bad idea, and it's frustrating to feel so held back in that area even though I know the rest is good for me and that I need to take care of myself and can't live like other people I know. Push pull of wanting a career like everyone else but knowing also that I probably couldn't handle the pressure. I'm lately learning how to accept that I can't go fast. But I have lots of people around me who would be greatly supportive if I ever decided to make and sell artwork (i.e., they would sell it for me! heh).

I also seem to have a lot of resources in general for figuring out or healing my self-karma, meeting people who lead me to particular information, or just stumbling upon things that I need to know about. Which has been amazing (thanks Flow!). 


8
I'm like that too in office-art-stationery supply warehouses... pens, pencils, paper, paints, notebooks... going back to school was always enormously exciting. ;)

mtscholar, do you also have a sort of fetish for library bound books? Or is that more of an artisan thing? (the colors are amazing) I think they're one of my favorite things in the world. sigh. I'd love to learn how to bind books like that some day, and be on book repair duties in a library. Does your love of libraries have to do with all the information at your disposal and being left alone with it all? I have scholar casting so I can relate some but I love libraries more for the fact that they're filled with books and that I see myself as being a good possible 'caretaker' for them, being in charge, knowing where they go, shelving them properly, the sense of being surrounded by 'friends', seeing that those friends have homes... 

I've never worked in a library but I'd love to someday, in a small one. My mum works at one in a dance and drama school. Has a great collection and I always like visiting her, feasting over all the art books.

9
Hmm. My mind feels constantly ablaze but it's surprisingly difficult to explain what actually goes on. Having scholar casting, I usually find myself researching personal interests. But I guess as I described my thoughts once as thinking about people and emotions, moods, psychological meanderings, fashion/style, history, literature, time-periods, architecture, art, etc. I'd say everything has the tint of being primarily psychological, humanistic, and mostly is in reference to My Self, which I think is mostly from being a mature soul in passion mode. Otherwise, I do look at my environment or "environments of the past", colors, shapes, people, energies, patterns of life... observational, then taking those things/people in and thinking about them.

i.e. I am affected by my environment, emotions and history, so then find myself wanting to get a lot of information or images on those things/curiosities.

I'm also always thinking in terms of self-actualization, and of trying to have more emotional awareness and to enjoy the vibrancies of life, liking to know how my emotions function, analyzing how I feel or have felt in the past. I also like daydreaming of developing and living my own lifestyle (or 'mastering' one). Being myself. I also think of what I want to put out into the environment, of what people will see when they see me, qualities, how I can influence my space/environment or the spaces of others.

So possibly, my thinking boils down to: how I influence things-environment-people and how things-environment-people influence me.

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External Monads / Re: External Monads
« on: June 09, 2011, 10:24:07 AM »
Saturn's been somewhere in my sign (virgo) since I was 12 apparently (for 12 years?)... only has left recently and boy, things 'lifted', noticeably. But not without leaving lessons and some scars, and stuff that I still have to integrate. It's just, now I am actually aware I have to integrate and start being kinder with my self. heh. Time to get back some self esteem! ;) 

11
The Nine Needs / Re: Freedom
« on: June 09, 2011, 06:25:38 AM »
I had mine channeled, but boy, before I did... I definitely knew Freedom was at the top of the list (it felt that strong, stronger than my role and some overleaves... heh). And, there it was on my chart, followed by Acceptance and Expansion. ;)

I think we do have all the 9 needs, but there are usually a few which are the strongest and which we feel we 'need' most to be content. And some things that feel like needs might be relating better to your role, casting, or overleaves.

Betty, your point reminds me of all the miscellaneous people I saw at university who just didn't seem to want to be there, nor did they seem like they had a purpose for being their either than for being away from home and partying, spending money. It's sad. As if one has a lot of them in one's classes they just waste everyone else's time. It's so expected to go to college these days, that most just go and don't think twice. Wish they could trade places with the ones who DO want to go! Now wouldn't that be something.

I'm so glad I went to university (even just for the experience, it was awesome), but would much rather have gone for two 1/2 years and gotten a shorter/less prestigious degree (not that a fine arts degree is that prestigious!), but instead dragged on for 6 years in something I didn't want to be in.

I guess the prerequisites though, doodeedoo, could be acting to enable future freedoms. University seems generally a difficult place in which to get the Freedom need met, if you're in the habit of disliking all the things you have to do to be in an academic environment. There's a lot of social stuff involved that I didn't realize went on. But could also be easier if you have the willpower to do something like design your own major (wish I could have done that).

What are you studying? (or wanting to major in?). I actually really liked the foundation studio classes for art because there was more freedom involved. It was only once I got into my major that I suddenly felt extremely restricted. Maybe it will be the opposite for you. :) Hopefully.

12
The Nine Needs / Re: Freedom
« on: June 08, 2011, 10:40:24 PM »
Take classes you enjoy? ;)

Just kidding, in a sense... but not really.

Freedom is my basic (and probably foremost) need, and taking classes I did not like (or was forced into) was also hell for me too.
But in university I tried to take classes I thought and knew I would be interested in... we had to take random classes from 5 scholastic categories (humanities, natural science, math, english, blah blah) to make us more 'well-rounded' students, so I ended up taking things like astronomy, linguistics, anthropology, psychology and a few film and creative writing classes even though I was a fine arts major. Which was great as I got to explore my other interests as I liked, and I'd say I remember and enjoyed those classes much better than my art classes. And it felt wonderful to be able to organize my own schedule like that, having the option to take classes in subjects I was interested in. I don't actually remember a whole lot of classes that I really detested... don't know if that was luck or just being happier with the option of variety and choice.

Is there that option for electives at your school or are you kind of stuck taking mindless prerequisite classes to get to where you're going?

Group projects are always going to be annoying, unfortunately. I don't know if there's much way around it, except to be group leader and delegate and let everyone do their tasks without having to bother you.

Maybe also you could try to create more freedom and options within the things you are confined to, see what freedoms you already have, such as, the choice to detach and treat it (class, professor) disdainfully, in a quiet way... (which I've done a few times, just so that it felt like the class didn't have a 'hold' on me) ;)  Or even creating a sense of freedom/choice when there isn't one, which sounds difficult, but can probably be achieved mentally by tricking yourself, or by treating yourself to a coffee or what have you afterward, listening to music, studying when YOU want to, doing things that you can decide. Having your own entire agenda outside the class... 

Seeing the bigger picture can also help, knowing that this class won't last a lifetime.

13
Sage / Re: Positive & Negative Traits of Sage
« on: June 02, 2011, 11:35:49 PM »
She's well into jazz school now. Aaaand, is definitely learning 'where she is', and knows how much she has to work still, and how much she will have to work once out of school (she told all this to me yesterday and I thought it showed tremendous maturity). She only has ideas of 'being famous' probably in the similar ways that I have of 'being famous'... in that it's an idea that's sort of connected to cardinality and being aware of the masses, knowing that we have something that can 'affect' them.

It's a tendency that we feel we can "take on the world!" but usually that's just a 'big' projection of something innately smaller scale, that of impacting people, no matter how many.

She's now getting to know the honors students and upperclassmen, and will be living with some hopefully soon (which means, going to more gigs, having a more musical social life), and for now she seems really excited with just 'being involved' and with being a part of a musical community.

Though... she is a favorite of Rodger Fox (of Rodger Fox's nz big band) if that's anything. At least, he often tells people (other professional musicians etc.) how tremendously well he thinks she's doing and how much she's improved after such a short time, how well she could do if she kept at it. So, things are looking quite well for her in that regard.

My sister's not really some jazz singing bimbo who thinks she's beyond everyone. lol. She does take it seriously and is very good, works hard, really respects other musicians and has a good modicum of all important humility. But, we all need some reality checks now and again, to get us back on track. Lovely Realist attitude. Can be quite handy. :) She just got carried away and over bubbly with all the attention and praise she was receiving. Was interesting, as I could relate to that feeling, of being happy and excited when there's a 'buzz' about you in an institution... except with her being a sage she just had to tell SOMEONE about it... "I feel stupid for saying this but I feel amazing lately!". Was a very interesting innocence attached to it. She only needed tugging over a leeettle bit... ;)

She does listen to instrumentalists. She played trumpet pretty well in high school, but I'm not sure if she'll take it back up.

14
Sage / Re: Positive & Negative Traits of Sage
« on: May 31, 2011, 08:01:38 AM »
My sage sister is studying jazz singing, and recently has gotten a lot of praise and attention from her instructors, which of course she's excited by, and the praise is definitely warranted... but we had started to notice that it was pushing her into oration, or some sort of arrogance. "I just have to tell someone how amazing I feel I am!" (more or less exact words), and other little phrases of giving her importance "I'll get you that when I'm famous, you can do my cd's cover art...".

Last week one of the other singers sort of put her in her place, "H, you don't have to brag about how well you do... " etc. etc. which she of course got quite (hysterically crying) upset over. But as she does, she has recovered quickly and with a new family-consensus-ed plan of "not telling anyone how proud I feel except for my family members or my boyfriend". It's her new pledge.

So the other day my mother said H came home and said "Mom, I'm so proud, two amazing things happened to me today with singing and I didn't tell ANYONE!", literally in all naive sincerity! ;)

15
Artisan / Re: How to tell if I'm an Artisan?
« on: May 31, 2011, 07:47:09 AM »
There are "art academies" and "art institutes" (like, the sorbonne, and other european institutions, pratt institute, or SAIC/chicago...) and probably other schools much more singularly devoted to art   ... Then there are university art colleges that range from "you must learn nudes and life drawing for three years before you can create anything of your own" to "hey yeah learn it sometime but we're setting you freeeee in every direction possible, go go go! yeahhh!"....

Quote
You definitely don't need a college education to be a musician, but getting a great private instructor is extremely valuable. Are private art instructors as common in the art world?

Yes, same. You don't need to go to college to be an artist, though it really helps to take art classes and to be exposed to experiences and techniques. So mostly the advantage of doing an art major was that I learned printmaking, and had access to amazing printing presses and other pieces of huge machinery ... and it was a great campus and I did many other things. But I was kind of over it after two years. heh. I think the only really 'famous' artist my u.s. university produced was Jim Dine. Otherwise I'm not sure. Most of the people were in graphic design, art history, or photography. The 'well-paying' art degrees...

I would have loved to have had a private art tutor and to have done an 'individual degree' that I designed for myself... but at my u.s. school for me it was either 'painting' or 'printmaking' or 'double majoring', and then getting along with a huge amount of other people doing printmaking, like a printmaker's club... in Nz they were a lot more flexible and you could do anything you wanted with whatever medium you wanted and weren't confined to something like just ceramics or just photography. But they were almost over focused on contemporary art and "Context". (which I found annoying...).

I think the creative process is similar for any role though. 

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