Most people can relate to the "Wounded Child" archetype, as described by Caroline Myss at Myss Library | Sacred Contracts | A Gallery of Archetypes:
http://www.myss.com/library/contracts/three_archs.asp"Child: Wounded
The Wounded Child archetype holds the memories of the abuse, neglect, and other traumas that we have endured during childhood. This may be the pattern people relate to the most, particularly since it has become the focus of therapy and accepted as a major culprit in the analysis of adult suffering. Choosing the Wounded Child suggests that you credit the painful and abusive experiences of your childhood with having a substantial influence on your adult life. Many people blame their Wounded Child, for instance, for all their subsequent dysfunctional relationships.
The painful experiences of the Wounded Child archetype often awaken a deep sense of compassion and a desire to find a path of service aimed at helping other Wounded Children. From a spiritual perspective, a wounded childhood cracks open the learning path of forgiveness. The shadow aspect may manifest as an abiding sense of self-pity, a tendency to blame your parents for your current shortcomings and to resist moving on through forgiveness.
Films: Diana Scarwid in Mommie Dearest; Dean Stockwell in The Secret Garden; Linda Blair in The Exorcist; Natalie Wood in The Miracle on 34th Street; Leonardo di Caprio in This Boy's Life; Jon Voight in Midnight Cowboy.
Fiction: Native Son by Richard Wright; Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens."
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Luckily, we have learned a few things from the Michael Teachings that will help us on our path. Here are a few excerpts from the Briggs transcripts (1982):
"All you need to know is
you are your Overleaves. You can be them actively or not. But by not being them doesn’t mean they go away."
"
No matter what another person’s Overleaves, we have to relate to them out of our own. So if a person is in Rejection, we need not worry about “saying” or “doing” something that may “cause” (make) them to feel rejected. They will experience their Overleaves no matter how you/we act. You truly do not have the power to “trigger” anyone’s reaction or action to anything."
“WHAT” is up to Essence. When you’re not involved in an Essence “what”, you as a Personality get to play in a playground where thought turns into [a] physical object. Whether you are enlightened or not, whether you live totally in balance or not, you will still create from thought, when you are not involved in an Essence “What.” That’s the struggle. “How do I know the difference between the B.S. I’m creating and the “What” Essence has chosen for me?” You won’t. It’s not your job to know the difference. It’s up to Essence to know the difference, not you. You don’t have to learn anything. You didn’t reincarnate, Essence did."
"...the realm of the “WHAT” you are going to do is up to Essence. The “HOW” is up to you. A question like that is the “how” and there is an enormous amount of options, at a Personality level. And the more you allow Essence to flow on the Physical Plane, [the] larger your “how” gets, [the] more responsibly you will handle it and the simpler it looks."
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So we can look at our relationships from the level of the
Personality and get a lot of insight from studying personality typing systems, like the enneagram, card science, astrology etc., which help you see HOW you relate to others and they to you, each from their own perspective. Since most of us grow up in dysfunctional families, this is something we may have to do at point or another. It's difficult but necessary work to reflect on any painful childhood memories to acknowledge that, a) you're not crazy for feeling/thinking the way you do about the past; b) you need a witness (e.g. therapist, sibling, spouse, friend or other), somebody who understands and validates your feelings (even if the abusers themselves never will or never could with the knowledge, skills and experience they have); and c) you are in charge of your life now and can move on.
Once you have "processed" the situation at the level of Personalities, then you can "go to the balcony" and see your life as a stage play with Act I, Act II and Act III. Some people come and stay in your circles for your whole life. Some people come for one act, then leave. Others make cameo appearances here and there. But you are the director of your life, you are in charge. The people in your life are just actors, playing their bit parts. It really doesn't matter who got the part of "mother" or "ex-wife" in your life, because you made a pre-birth agreement to work together on relationships etc.
Then the focus will change to asking yourself:
WHAT lesson or goal did my Essence choose? Is it karma or a monad?
"It’s an Essence choice. If it’s going to complete 75 Monads and one karma, it will pick Growth. If it is going to complete 75 karmas and one Monad, it will choose Rejection."
"Each Essence chooses when to complete a karma prior to incarnation, and then chooses Overleaves it knows result in Personalities that will facilitate that karma getting completed. When karma is complete, relationships can continue on. So it’s up to the Personality whether the relationship continues. It’s up to you and her."
(Briggs transcript, 1982).
Much food for thought here. Thanks, Chiara, for bringing this up for discussion.
Love
Ulla
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