The Seven Roles > Sage

Positive & Negative Traits of Sage

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Velleity:
My sage sister is studying jazz singing, and recently has gotten a lot of praise and attention from her instructors, which of course she's excited by, and the praise is definitely warranted... but we had started to notice that it was pushing her into oration, or some sort of arrogance. "I just have to tell someone how amazing I feel I am!" (more or less exact words), and other little phrases of giving her importance "I'll get you that when I'm famous, you can do my cd's cover art...".

Last week one of the other singers sort of put her in her place, "H, you don't have to brag about how well you do... " etc. etc. which she of course got quite (hysterically crying) upset over. But as she does, she has recovered quickly and with a new family-consensus-ed plan of "not telling anyone how proud I feel except for my family members or my boyfriend". It's her new pledge.

So the other day my mother said H came home and said "Mom, I'm so proud, two amazing things happened to me today with singing and I didn't tell ANYONE!", literally in all naive sincerity! ;)

jk:
That is funny, Elisabeth. This also reminded me of that person I have mentioned above. She is a decent amateur singer and is currently getting private singing lessons. She is soooo hooked on being good at it. You cannot give her any critical feedback without spinning her into a litany of self-justification. We are in a choir together, usually singing the same part. When someone gives us a feedback, she does not seem to be able to just take it on board and shut up. She will analyse and analyse and self-justify and dissect every stupid detail.
Her oration is not limited just to the in-depth analysis of her singing, another favourite topics are her boyfriend and her obsessive cleaning. It's like she's saying for several hours in a row "me me me me me me me me me me me"
I just started avoiding her, because I have a life.
At least your sister is seeing this issue to some degree in herself, this person just does not.

Chiara DB:
Elisabeth, your sister sounds adorable! And what is up with all the NZ people on this forum?? I lived in Dunedin in 2009-2010 :)

Dave:

--- Quote from: Elisabeth on May 31, 2011, 08:01:38 AM ---My sage sister is studying jazz singing, and recently has gotten a lot of praise and attention from her instructors, which of course she's excited by, and the praise is definitely warranted... but we had started to notice that it was pushing her into oration, or some sort of arrogance. "I just have to tell someone how amazing I feel I am!" (more or less exact words), and other little phrases of giving her importance "I'll get you that when I'm famous, you can do my cd's cover art...".

Last week one of the other singers sort of put her in her place, "H, you don't have to brag about how well you do... " etc. etc. which she of course got quite (hysterically crying) upset over. But as she does, she has recovered quickly and with a new family-consensus-ed plan of "not telling anyone how proud I feel except for my family members or my boyfriend". It's her new pledge.

So the other day my mother said H came home and said "Mom, I'm so proud, two amazing things happened to me today with singing and I didn't tell ANYONE!", literally in all naive sincerity! ;)

--- End quote ---

Haha‚ĶVery cute!   :D

Right now your sister is doing fairly well in a relatively small pond, but as she ventures out into the world she'll discover that there are multitudes of girls her age who are unbelievably more gifted. It'll be a real game changer for her if she's not emotionally prepared.

I also think her tendency to showboat will disappear when she awakens to just how daunting musical artistry can be, and how much work is still ahead of her regarding her own shortcomings as a musician. And trust me, when she begins to chase that elusive specter of artistic perfection you'll see her former swagger get replaced real quick by a genuine humbleness.

Best,
Dave

P.S. - Is she listening to jazz instrumentalists, too?

 

Nancy:
Dave, I was hesitant to tell you this, but now I must.
Going to see Sonny Rollins in Wellington later this month  :-)
<running to hide now>

Blessings
Nancy

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