The Seven Roles > King

The King Presence

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Chiara DB:
Glad that sharing my experience helped, Elisabeth!

--- Quote from: Elisabeth on April 18, 2011, 09:27:35 AM ---Chiara, as an old king, do you find yourself ever feeling a bit more ordinal or warrior-like? I only do sometimes in that I feel like I'm scaling down and becoming more territorial and protective (of my space, time, and of my family, art, etc).
--- End quote ---

I don't know if what you're describing is growing ordinality as much as plugging leaks in energy that take away from enjoyment of life! As I get older, I actually feel less and less ordinal. Hanging out with my Priest ET almost all the time, I live in Double Exalted Cardinal World pretty much 24/7, to the point where I've managed to arrange my life so I don't have to leave that space very often.

I'm a old server, and my reaction to your posts is...well...that you guys seem a little bit full of yourselves.  I have been in plenty of situations where someone will "take control" and try to lead.  I don't like it.  It's not necessarily that I want to lead myself; most often, I don't.  It's more like I don't need a leader.  I don't need somebody to be "in charge".  I am perfectly capable of doing whatever needs to be done myself, and I resent anyone trying to impose themselves on me or run things.  I think it's arrogant.

Well, we're both in arrogance...  :P

I'm well aware that many people don't necessarily need or want leaders or someone to take control. Very very often I don't take control, and I sit back and am very much a loner, leaving people to their own devices unless they come to me, or unless I can see that they might need some direction. And often it's nice when someone else takes control so I can relax and not have to feel wound up and guilty about 'not leading' (king maya). But it's very satisfying to help and lead when the situation calls for it. It's just the role essence.

I've experienced people who seem to need/want leading, or look to me to make decisions or call the shots (make the entire menu), and it can get tiresome. That's just my experience though. Not everyone expects me to lead (glad for it). And I really don't like feeling tyrannical and usually ask people if I'm 'taking over' too much when I'm helping them. I really don't take over or impose myself on people because I don't like being imposed upon myself. Pretty much.

Sorry if I sounded too whiny or full of myself about my boyfriend, perhaps he's experiencing the same frustration of the strange power vacuum that I experience. i.e. the "who's going to call the shot?" tension that can arise. It's just something I notice. And does just one person need to call the shots? (No). Usually we're very agreeable and split things evenly or do them together and it's quite harmonious. There are just sometimes where he wants me to tell him what to do and I don't know what to tell him, or he looks to me to lead outright. It's just an annoying sense of pressure very suddenly. Doesn't help that he tends to stare at me either until I give orders. :P

Maybe kings feel 'power vacuums' more than others? I don't know, it's just something that I'm really aware of. I'm not in power mode, but it's still like an instinct, walking into a room and immediately sensing who's in control, the dynamics, who's taking up the most room, and how much control I might have in a situation even if I don't use it. Sometimes I don't have much control or influence at all, and I'm fine with that, but it's like I still need to 'know' that I don't, so I can relax or go do other things. Yes, it's often annoying being 'on duty' all the time, feeling that I must be alert and watching out for how things are being managed.

Am also now wondering how a mature king in arrogance can write on a forum without sounding really 'important'... something to work on.

I don't feel that is necessarily a "kingly" attribute.  Almost everyone sizes up a room when they walk into it.  And almost everyone feels satisfaction if they are asked to help and do a good job, no matter what their role essence is.  And I, too, find that people remember me, even when we were only introduced some time previously. For some reason, I am a memorable person, and I am a server, so, again, it's not necessarily the role essence.

Remember, "king" to Michael doesn't mean the same thing it means in our language.  


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