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Messages - Velleity

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King / Re: The King Presence
« on: April 25, 2011, 11:32:38 PM »
Well, we're both in arrogance...  :P

I'm well aware that many people don't necessarily need or want leaders or someone to take control. Very very often I don't take control, and I sit back and am very much a loner, leaving people to their own devices unless they come to me, or unless I can see that they might need some direction. And often it's nice when someone else takes control so I can relax and not have to feel wound up and guilty about 'not leading' (king maya). But it's very satisfying to help and lead when the situation calls for it. It's just the role essence.

I've experienced people who seem to need/want leading, or look to me to make decisions or call the shots (make the entire menu), and it can get tiresome. That's just my experience though. Not everyone expects me to lead (glad for it). And I really don't like feeling tyrannical and usually ask people if I'm 'taking over' too much when I'm helping them. I really don't take over or impose myself on people because I don't like being imposed upon myself. Pretty much.

Sorry if I sounded too whiny or full of myself about my boyfriend, perhaps he's experiencing the same frustration of the strange power vacuum that I experience. i.e. the "who's going to call the shot?" tension that can arise. It's just something I notice. And does just one person need to call the shots? (No). Usually we're very agreeable and split things evenly or do them together and it's quite harmonious. There are just sometimes where he wants me to tell him what to do and I don't know what to tell him, or he looks to me to lead outright. It's just an annoying sense of pressure very suddenly. Doesn't help that he tends to stare at me either until I give orders. :P

Maybe kings feel 'power vacuums' more than others? I don't know, it's just something that I'm really aware of. I'm not in power mode, but it's still like an instinct, walking into a room and immediately sensing who's in control, the dynamics, who's taking up the most room, and how much control I might have in a situation even if I don't use it. Sometimes I don't have much control or influence at all, and I'm fine with that, but it's like I still need to 'know' that I don't, so I can relax or go do other things. Yes, it's often annoying being 'on duty' all the time, feeling that I must be alert and watching out for how things are being managed.

The Nine Needs / Re: Acceptance Need
« on: April 25, 2011, 11:07:27 PM »

I have an acceptance need, but a goal of Flow. My 'need' sometimes feels all consuming and very present, is much more like a desire or yearning, and it doesn't feel as structured in the way that my goal does, if that makes sense. It's more a part of me, something I feel I need that really enhances my life and lets me live out my goal better. I also have needs of Freedom and Expansion, and they seem to serve the same purpose. If I have those needs fulfilled, then it makes my goal and life task easier and I feel happier.

Sometimes I can do that with goal of flow, if I'm flowing, but it doesn't seem to have the same intensity or aspect of longing that my needs do. I do sometimes long to be flowing, but it sounds silly saying that "I long to flow! Oh how I yearn for it..."  :D. Mostly because I'll somehow already be flowing and don't really think about my goal so insistently. I don't think of it as something that I 'have'. Sounds much more resonant to say I long for acceptance/freedom, as if they are 'things' I could possess. They're shiny.   

I would imagine that a goal of Acceptance would be a bit more in-built, and more of a way of 'being' or behaving. Even though I have a need for acceptance, I definitely do not have a goal of acceptance even though some aspects of it are familiar. I'm perfectly fine being different and standing out... but I like having my uniqueness and standing out being accepted. Which can be conflicting at times. 

I'm probably not the best person to answer your question, but I guess that's how I see the differences.

Past Lives & Reincarnation / Finding out about past lives
« on: April 25, 2011, 10:43:41 PM »

I've always been really curious about my past lives, as I've had quite a lot of 'resonance' with particular time periods and groups of people (so much so that it feels more like home than the present time does), and so I've always wondered if I'd lived then, or in the periods I love so much. I think the high resonance is actually what got me into believing in past lives and living more than once. It seemed to make more sense. I had also met people in my life where I was sure that I knew them before.

Anyway, as much as I've been curious about my past lives, I've found it really difficult to access them by myself. I don't know if it's just that I'm on the action axis and am therefore more tied to the physical plane, or that I just don't have as good visualization skills as I need...

Much to my delight, it's great knowing that I could have past life info channeled for me. I just don't have all the funds for it yet, nor really know how to go about it. I'm also selfishly drawn to the "was I anyone who would turn up in the history books" question, as I'm a king so maybe I'm sure I must have at some point? But who knows.

I did once have a past life hypnosis session, but the results were a bit skewed as I had it in my head that I might have been someone relatively well known that I was slightly obsessed about. The session was interesting though, as though it was difficult for me to visualize, there was a LOT of kinesthetic detailing, things like 'feeling' colors and feeling angry, feeling sad, feeling the wind and seeing the trees move, feeling delirious with illness etc.

Have any of you found out about your past lives through other means (besides channeling)? Or have you channeled Michael/info for yourselves?

Just kind of interested in all the different methods and experiences...

The Seven Goals / Re: "The least commonly chosen goal"
« on: April 25, 2011, 09:24:25 PM »
Very interesting Geoff! Thanks for sharing that, definitely gave more perspective (for me) to this goal.

It's so fascinating to have explained to us 'why' our essence chose particular overleaves (n'est-ce pas?). For me, apparently I had been going way-too-fast in prior lifetimes to where I only got the chance to process and digest experiences more fully once in the astral plane. So now I'm being forced to take it easy and to stop and smell the roses. heh.

I don't think anyone would look at my life to this point and say "here's someone taking a breather this life."

I'm glad you said this, as it seems the main difference between reevaluation and flow (goals which look similar to me at times, personally). Many people in my life would say that it appears I'm taking a breather. lol. That I was 'meant to be born with a trust fund', or as my bf said a while ago "why is your life so not complicated?!" Oh, it's still complicated, trust me.

Soul Age / Re: Soul Age. How to spot it
« on: April 20, 2011, 10:33:33 AM »
The Mature Soul goes in spurts:  one day clean, the next day, not too clean.  The Old Soul usually does not bother to shove anything into the closet.  Who cares? 

Haha! This seems to be the difference between myself and my (most likely) old soul bf. I'm forever either 'quite clean', or untidy and disorganized. My bf says he doesn't expect me to do housework at all (even though I'm currently unemployed) and I thought "What??? I'm here, I might as well clean, and it won't get clean unless I start to do it". But even then, I still only manage to get around to it 'sometimes'.  ;) Seems fine to me though.

My whole family must be mature souls though, we all have a tendency (in our own living areas) of 'cleaning the entire house' on one day and basking in the glory of vacuumed carpets and dusted rooms. Then all do it again in a few weeks' time after looking at the mess that starts to invade again.

The Seven Goals / Re: "The least commonly chosen goal"
« on: April 20, 2011, 10:19:23 AM »
I'd quite like to hear about it as well, as it was one of my 'considerations' before I had my chart channeled (turns out I'm in Flow, but possibly and occasionally slide between reevaluation and growth). 

King / Re: The King Presence
« on: April 18, 2011, 09:27:35 AM »
I have CF of Arrogance too Chiara, and boy your description hit the nail on the head! It can definitely be utter havoc, and is still something I have a very hard time with (the vacillation).

Opera singer. :) That's pretty cool!

I have to say I really like helping people too, and again your words are something that really resonate with me and I so get what you mean by them (in that I've come to those conclusions as well, of 'what to do' with the energy, or what feels 'most right', it's like you've been inside my head!). I've been a recluse for a long while, mostly because of feeling vulnerable, overwhelmed, and hurt by the world and people in my past, but keep realizing year after year now that my friends and family and others actually seem to benefit from having me around when I'm in a fun and more loving mood (ohhh my bad moods, they just affected entire houses sometimes), and that I do have the strength to lead and help get things done. 

But it does feel so much better to make others feel better and confident, instead of plaguing them with your presence. lol.

It's a sort of personal responsibility, the king energy, and I have to say that I still usually feel awful/grimy whenever I become even a little bit tyrannical, as if I've just had enough of doing that in past lifetimes to where I'm sick of that sort of king behavior. It's a bit weird. I'd much rather be an inspiring leader or example for others to follow, some sort of person who can pave the way and help others toward mastering things, rather than lording completely over others.

Though I still go around town and on buses feeling that I should have seats reserved for me. ;)

But yeah, King energy does have a lot of Service built into it. I guess most succinctly for me, it's just 'being available' to others. They don't have to see me all the time, but they know I'm there. I remember once in my freshman year of university, a very new acquaintance asked me to accompany her to the health center to get birth control, her saying that I felt like the only person available at the time who would accompany and 'protect' her and make her calmer about it, and by god... stuff like that just feels so good, and 'affirming'. 

Chiara, as an old king, do you find yourself ever feeling a bit more ordinal or warrior-like? I only do sometimes in that I feel like I'm scaling down and becoming more territorial and protective (of my space, time, and of my family, art, etc).

So much more I could say. :)

Artisan / Re: How to tell if I'm an Artisan?
« on: April 18, 2011, 08:45:48 AM »
I think my boyfriend's probably an artisan (or has a big artisan component), and it really gets through to me as 'seeing patterns', wondering how things fit together, and usually being adept at seeing that picture of the world. For example, he's a bicycle courier, which I find amazing, that he can be aware of so much going on at one time, his jobs to do, how many he can pick up and bring from one side of town to the other, where and which order to drop them off in, while weaving in and out of traffic and managing not to get hit by cars. That's probably his 5 inputs at work. But it's still all a puzzle to be pieced together from multiple parts.

He also really enjoys cooking and figuring out what ingredients go together well, having a real interest in recipes and then not always following them.

I also asked him once what he generally thinks about during the day, and he said that he goes around mostly wondering how things are made... buildings, devices, structures, bikes, space, anything. Oh and he's quite into his bike and is constantly putting different/new parts on it at a bike shop downtown. He majored in photography in university, built his own computer from parts, 'knows' computers' structures, is interested in things like sacred geometry, politics, and yep, is 'crafty' (figuring out ways to beat the system) and pretty handy. He also worked in a butchery, and at an insurance firm inputting data and designing/organizing a system to hold all the information. Not very showy, but is a bit rough around the edges. One of those rugged silent artisans who's into his 'craft'. 

I have a discarnate artisan ET, but it tends to manifest more in me having too many clothes and being generally creative. (well, and much more, like adding beetroot to a stirfry and making it all pink...).

But I'm still pretty amazed at how geared-toward and conscious he is of 'systems'. Pretty evident. When I was having a hard time 'following the rules' of art school (which is where we met) he said I just had to play the system enough until I was done, and I realized how not good I am at doing that (in comparison).

The Roles (or Soul Types) / Re: How do I figure out my Role?
« on: April 16, 2011, 03:48:28 AM »
This was also helpful for me in narrowing down (during the time spent in suspense while waiting for my chart!):

I picked a couple 'possibles' from each category, and actually wasn't too far off in the end.

The Roles (or Soul Types) / Re: How do I figure out my Role?
« on: April 16, 2011, 03:43:21 AM »
Agree with John about the influence of overleaves... I felt pretty 'priesty' at times before (and after) I got my chart channeled, but it's because I'm at a soul level that corresponds with priest and am in passion mode, arrogance, and am emotionally centered. Also felt a bit sage-y because I have a mercurial body type. ;) Once you get a chart it's fun figuring out where all your intuitions are coming from, "that explains that... ah haaa!".

I personally was going between king and artisan before I got a chart done, and turns out I am a king role with a discarnate artisan essence twin. So you could be pretty on track with yourself too. But you never know. :)

Hi Stefan. :)

I'm in 6th mature, and the MT have been acting for me as a sort of 'soothing' element in what feels to be this rather difficult soul age/level. Well, not 'soothing' per se, but the teachings let me understand and accept more of 'where I am' currently in the grand scheme of things and that it's okay to feel like I've been hit over the head too many times, knowing that I'm at the stage where I have to pay back some karma and that all the angst is kind of supposed to be experienced. It's also been great validating that there are lives after this life (which seemed clear and obvious to me anyway).

I just think it's a great set of teachings over all, and it just all makes sense. That's what seems most important to me (having scholar casting it's also nice for my brain. heh). The insight/perspective I've gained so far is great and well worth it.

Soul Age / Re: Mature & Old Souls
« on: April 15, 2011, 10:32:04 PM »
I like Chiara's distinctions too.

This is especially true for me:
Mature souls are able to take forays into the big picture, and they are very interested in it, but their primary focus is still very much on people and their doings.

I'm a mature soul (oh no), and feel very self centered even though I can relate to quite a few old soul characteristics (which is how I found the MT in the first place). I would be an old soul, but yeah I'm still just really focused on my inner landscapes and emotions (beyond my overleaves of passion and emotional centering), am really interested in psychology/madness, etc. And am loving the MT because of their 'applicability' to my life. It's difficult for me to just study the teachings, it's a compulsion to put them to the test in my life and other people I know. So in a lot of ways it's difficult to be on a discussion board as I'd rather have a journal explaining how it all relates to me! It's hard to detach enough to just "discuss", if that makes sense, and I can feel annoyingly 'mature' and that I'm not contributing much at all as it all has to come from 'my perspective'. But it's hard to help it.   

I'm sure I'm plenty energetically complex (in a stupidly 'raw' angst suffering sense)... but perhaps not in the same way an old soul might be... and I can sense the 'gulf', but can't exactly always do anything about it.

King / The King Presence
« on: April 15, 2011, 10:19:37 PM »

Being a King, it's interesting reading about the rather 'moses parting the red sea' effect that kings supposedly have when they walk around in public (I'm assuming mostly due to their big energy emanating). I'm quite self-conscious about being stared at, so often it can feel awkward yet somewhat empowering/interesting to notice.

It does seem to be a 'thing' with kings though, as I've watched a few bios and interviews with celebrity kings which describe 'how they affect a room of people'. For instance, just having watched a youtube interview of Clive Owen, it was said of him by a producer that, "Clive has extraordinary vigor, and of course great looks, he walks into a room and one's eye immediately goes to him, he's dashing and glamorous, earthy and real, and Clive manages to combine those qualities with extraordinarily charismatic effect". (well yeah, sounds like a king if I've ever heard one).

Also was one on Jack Kerouac where one described him as shy when walking into a room but that people immediately took notice anyway.

Of course, often to me it seems a bit weird to validate this, as it essentially sounds pretty egoistic in my head like "oh yeah, people are staring at me aaallll the time... but I'm not paranoid, honest...". It kind of turns me into a hermit, and I feel I can't even go out in a jeans and t-shirt without feeling 'recognized'. Before I was channeled as being a King I had no fraking clue what was going on or if I was just really hypersensitive (so yes it's helpful 'knowing').

It's just an eerie feeling.

I know kings aren't really a dime a dozen but has anyone had king friends (or are a king themselves) who get stared at? Do they mind it? Do they use it to their advantage? Is it really a phenomenon that happens? It's not necessarily that people 'make way' for me or see me coming from behind them and so move. It's more of a 'making entrances' thing, walking into a place.

I don't charge into rooms or aggressively take tables, I'm pretty quiet, but people look up anyway. Or else people remember me. I'm a cafe hopper just because if I go to the same cafe two times in a row then I'm pretty much a regular.  :P But it's just weird!

What are your guys' experience with the King presence? How do they make you feel? Are you impelled to look up? What does it feel like when one starts talking? (I'm also really good at silencing rooms darn it). Being a king it's hard to see the other side.

Introductions / Re: Introductions
« on: April 14, 2011, 04:32:53 AM »
Hi Chiara! :)

I'm a 'newer' student, but am also a King (6th Mature).
Not sure how often I'll be posting here but it'd be nice to have some future kingly conversations with you. ;)  

Life Task / Re: Life Task/Life Plan
« on: April 13, 2011, 05:43:33 AM »
Hmm. I've had a 'life task' channeled for me and I'm only 26. And it all made complete and perfect sense for where I am in my life at the moment. I'm sure it might change once I'm older and gain more experience, but it's definitely been very helpful as a way forward with this life crisis I've been having since age 20. I just had NO clue what on earth I was supposed to be doing or what essence had planned for this time around, was very stuck and depressed and needing some perspective.

So I don't know 'what exactly' was channeled for me, even though it was called a life task (and seems to be very resonant for me, spanning my entire life lived thus far). But I'm glad that I didn't have to wait until my 40's to get some very helpful knowledge and direction.

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