Freedom

[doodeedoo]

I have this need and I am currently in university. I do not like university for various reasons, and sitting at home cringing about the annoying professor I have to listen to and the group project I'd rather not be in is practically killing me. It is compounded by my secondary chief feature of stubbornness methinks. When I start to get into "sit here and hate this" mode, it is extremely difficult to pull myself out of.

Commiserations, suggestions?

[Velleity]

Take classes you enjoy?

Just kidding, in a sense... but not really.

Freedom is my basic (and probably foremost) need, and taking classes I did not like (or was forced into) was also hell for me too.
But in university I tried to take classes I thought and knew I would be interested in... we had to take random classes from 5 scholastic categories (humanities, natural science, math, english, blah blah) to make us more 'well-rounded' students, so I ended up taking things like astronomy, linguistics, anthropology, psychology and a few film and creative writing classes even though I was a fine arts major. Which was great as I got to explore my other interests as I liked, and I'd say I remember and enjoyed those classes much better than my art classes. And it felt wonderful to be able to organize my own schedule like that, having the option to take classes in subjects I was interested in. I don't actually remember a whole lot of classes that I really detested... don't know if that was luck or just being happier with the option of variety and choice.

Is there that option for electives at your school or are you kind of stuck taking mindless prerequisite classes to get to where you're going?

Group projects are always going to be annoying, unfortunately. I don't know if there's much way around it, except to be group leader and delegate and let everyone do their tasks without having to bother you.

Maybe also you could try to create more freedom and options within the things you are confined to, see what freedoms you already have, such as, the choice to detach and treat it (class, professor) disdainfully, in a quiet way... (which I've done a few times, just so that it felt like the class didn't have a 'hold' on me)  Or even creating a sense of freedom/choice when there isn't one, which sounds difficult, but can probably be achieved mentally by tricking yourself, or by treating yourself to a coffee or what have you afterward, listening to music, studying when YOU want to, doing things that you can decide. Having your own entire agenda outside the class... 

Seeing the bigger picture can also help, knowing that this class won't last a lifetime.

[doodeedoo]

Thank you for your reply! Good to know I am not alone in the feelings. Thems are some good tips too!

I unfortunately have to take these courses as prerequisites. Hopefully I will like things better after this. Or else I may have to do something crazy.

Ps- Did you get your needs chanelled or just read them and validate for yourself? Because I didn't get mine chanelled, and most of the needs I read feel like needs I have. Like communion, adventure, expansion, freedom, and acceptance all sort of get my goat. I may not be using that idiom correctly . Maybe I'm just extra needy?  haha

[Betty]

It sounds like a cliche, or lecturing, and I really don't mean it that way, but it might help, also, to truly understand how lucky you are to be able to go to a university.  So many people yearn to go to college, but cannot, for various reasons.  They would be willing to sit through as many classes as they had to, if they only had the chance.

And yes, sometimes you do have to take mindless prerequisites or wade through classes/professors/activities you don't like in order to get to where you want to be.

I don't know if this helps you or not.  But like Elisabeth said, it won't last a lifetime.  In fact, it actually goes by much quicker than you think.  And I think the end result will be worth a few months of annoyance.

[doodeedoo]

Thanks so much for your reply! It does help, those are really good points that help to shine some light on this for me. 

[Velleity]

I had mine channeled, but boy, before I did... I definitely knew Freedom was at the top of the list (it felt that strong, stronger than my role and some overleaves... heh). And, there it was on my chart, followed by Acceptance and Expansion.

I think we do have all the 9 needs, but there are usually a few which are the strongest and which we feel we 'need' most to be content. And some things that feel like needs might be relating better to your role, casting, or overleaves.

Betty, your point reminds me of all the miscellaneous people I saw at university who just didn't seem to want to be there, nor did they seem like they had a purpose for being their either than for being away from home and partying, spending money. It's sad. As if one has a lot of them in one's classes they just waste everyone else's time. It's so expected to go to college these days, that most just go and don't think twice. Wish they could trade places with the ones who DO want to go! Now wouldn't that be something.

I'm so glad I went to university (even just for the experience, it was awesome), but would much rather have gone for two 1/2 years and gotten a shorter/less prestigious degree (not that a fine arts degree is that prestigious!), but instead dragged on for 6 years in something I didn't want to be in.

I guess the prerequisites though, doodeedoo, could be acting to enable future freedoms. University seems generally a difficult place in which to get the Freedom need met, if you're in the habit of disliking all the things you have to do to be in an academic environment. There's a lot of social stuff involved that I didn't realize went on. But could also be easier if you have the willpower to do something like design your own major (wish I could have done that).

What are you studying? (or wanting to major in?). I actually really liked the foundation studio classes for art because there was more freedom involved. It was only once I got into my major that I suddenly felt extremely restricted. Maybe it will be the opposite for you. Hopefully.

[Chiara DB]

doodeedoo, I would write in my notebook, in Italian so other people couldn't read it, all the reasons why the class or the teacher was irritating me that day. It didn't really make the time go by faster, but at least I got to express my feelings, and I got to feel tricky and secret because other people couldn't read it

[doodeedoo]

It`s a really confusing time, because I don`t believe in school. I think it is wrong on so many levels. On one hand I don`t want to put too fine a point on it, but... I think it is another form of institutionalization. So while I can appreciate that it is a way to get ahead, and that it is an opportunity others don`t have, it is also another flawed and extremely detrimental system to be a part of. It`s like say you are diabetic. It is fortunate for you to be able to have the money to access meds for your ailment, but better yet would be that the doctors and the society actually understand the true causes of diabetes so you don`t get sick in the first place, or so you don`t get improper treatment once you have it. 

But I feel, for various reasons which I duno if I should bother getting into, that I have to do this, like it is basically my destiny. But I also feel like it is smart in life to eliminate all of the suffering you can, or in other words, LEARN THROUGH JOY. Michael has said this is possible. Why suffer? I would just be working at some crappy job if I wasn`t in school, probably. (But anything is possible, maybe I could make my dreams come true doing that, too.) Would that make me happier? Would I feel more free? Sometimes I think I would be, it feels sometimes like I have to quit to just be able to live, unfortunately. Like today for instance, I had to work on a paper and it gave me such extreme anxiety, it really feels like it is crushing everything out of me, and making me suicidal on a regular basis, sorry to say. Bleh, but yeah, it really may lead me to be free in the future, so I don`t know. Which option to trust? The question beguiles me. Last but not least there is the chance I may like the actual program better than the prereqs. Perhaps there is a way to learn through joy, even in a trying circumstance? Perhaps not liking it is just a habit that can be changed?

School can be very traumatizing. I just feel better putting that out there. Like so many other things on earth, it can be such an alienating experience. I still appreciate both of your comments, this is just another side to the coin from my pov. Sometimes I just have to share all my feelings which also relates to the Freedom need? Haha.

ps hi Chiara, I like that! 

[jk]

I am pretty sure I have Freedom Need too. And on top of it I have Impatience. Does not help. Whilst it is true that the uni classes will not last forever, on the other hand, there will always be something that will challenge your need for Freedom. I think this gets worse in job environment, in comparison to school and from what you have written I think you recognise this.

This too, will sound like a (Michael) cliche, but at the end of the day, all is choice and all these boring classes and every other limitation we are experiencing, we have chosen on more (Personality) or less (Essence) obvious level. And in most situations we can un-choose them. You can tell yourself that you have to take these classes, but is it really true? Perhaps you have to take them if you wish to stay to complete the course, however, at the end of the day you don't want to drop the course, and this is the pre-requisite.

At the end of the day, you do have an option to quit and pursue your path another way. Only you can make that choice. I do not believe in destiny, because that word implies something externally imposed.

Chiara I did that before as well, in my native tongue which is Czech :-)

As for the diabetes analogy. Why should doctors and society understand it? The one who gets it is the one to understand it. Freedom and Responsibility are inseparable.

[doodeedoo]

Hi jk, on one hand I think I see what you`re saying, but on ther other, your comment about my analogy seems a bit too individualistic or isolating to me. If doctors and society understood diabetes, people wouldn`t be getting it as much or at all and more happiness would abound. It`s like... if abuse was properly dealt with, people dealing with it would have more recourse to action to get out of bad situations. If the fullness of why school is and can be wrong was understood, more enlightened options would proliferate. I don`t think it is just for the person who is dealing with the adversity to deal with... that`s the attitude that gets the world into so many problems. Things could move along so much better and joyfully and sensibly.

I still appreciate what you said, because it seems responsible to just be like 'Ok I`ll deal with this strange situation myself', and not think about how it should be. Also I am glad you said things can challenge your need for Freedom at work, too, because while I am aware of that perhaps I don`t fully appreciate it. I have been forgetting how stiltifying bad jobs can be, and the goal of this is to basically be my own boss. I also like what you said about having to and wanting to... I do probably want the course because it will help me get to the goal.

[jk]

It is pretty well understood why people get type 2 diabetes or many other diseases. Yet that does not stop a large number of people continuing the root cause behaviour. Then they expect to come to a doctor, get a pill, walk away, carry on doing what they were doing before, eating the pill. If that does not work they blame the doctor. That is how I meant it.

[doodeedoo]

I would not say the root causes of most diseases are well understood. A low carbohydrate diet helps to control diabetes. I am no diabetes expert, see Dr. Bernstein, but yeah. Bad dietary, medical advice causes diabetes. People didn`t get most illnesses before. Gary Taubes is my reference for this.

[Dave]

The American diet is the leading cause of type 2 diabetes and other common diseases. Unfortunately, we're raised on this diet and it's drummed into our psyche everyday by the mere act of living in this country. Under those circumstances it's very difficult to make healthy choices.

After a long day of work and commuting, for instance, most Americans opt for the Big Mac rather than a healthy home cooked meal with a fresh green salad. And it's ironic that with all the choices afforded to most Americans, we collectively seem to make the worst possible choices regarding our health. But Americans as a whole tend to be overworked and stressed, and the choices they make are largely borne out of convenience. That's not a good excuse but it seems to be our current reality.

Best,
Dave