6th level mature

[Velleity]

Any ways or tips you know of to help soothe the road of 6th level mature?

It's weird having a life task to enjoy myself whilst still in the midst of feeling like I'm being hit over the head, feeling often dazed and confused, depressed, bipolar, and in rather constant inner emotional turmoil about everything. I don't know if I'm getting better at it or more accepting that I'm just having to pay back karma right now... or if I'm getting worse. There's such a lot of SELF-karma involved too. For now I'm mostly being a semi-recluse and trying to take a time out...  though I'm not actually sure what it is that I'm keeping up to date with, the state of my soul? Trying to be more consciously aware in any case.

Anyway, sorry if this 'stuff' leaks out onto forum in the future, or apologies if I seem crazy or arrogant or too much on passion mode. I'm trying to deal with it....     

[John Roth]

Any ways or tips you know of to help soothe the road of 6th level mature?

It's weird having a life task to enjoy myself whilst still in the midst of feeling like I'm being hit over the head, feeling often dazed and confused, depressed, bipolar, and in rather constant inner emotional turmoil about everything. I don't know if I'm getting better at it or more accepting that I'm just having to pay back karma right now... or if I'm getting worse. There's such a lot of SELF-karma involved too. For now I'm mostly being a semi-recluse and trying to take a time out...  though I'm not actually sure what it is that I'm keeping up to date with, the state of my soul? Trying to be more consciously aware in any case.

Anyway, sorry if this 'stuff' leaks out onto forum in the future, or apologies if I seem crazy or arrogant or too much on passion mode. I'm trying to deal with it....    

Well, the 6th level is where all the unhandled junk comes up to be handled. The best suggestion I've got is Buddhist style awareness mindfulness meditations.

HTH

John Roth

[mtscholar]

Interesting to see this post, since I was going to post a query about what kind of stuff 6th level mature souls have to go through. I'm wondering if that's where I am. Any further insights or shared experiences are appreciated.

[Velleity]

Thanks John, I've definitely come across the concepts of mindfulness (in counseling and elsewhere), and it does help when I utilize it. Also helps to just become more aware, not detached, but just noticing 'what's going on' in a simultaneously objective and subjective way... things even like sitting on a log by a river and watching a flock of geese. Yields enormous insights! Somehow.

And this someone said to me a while ago (when I was more turbulently depressed):
"Have you ever considered picking up Taoism? I can't recall ever seeing someone so in need of a way of escaping conventional thinking. I can't say it would make you feel better, but you might find some peace in the freeing of your intuition from the more active elements of thought."

The more I read about 6th mature, the more it seems like it can also be a very exciting time of emotions, the metaphor of having reached the top of the mountain and now one is starting to slide back down (with all the unhandled junk). The "okay, alright, I'll just DO this" seems to have its own momentum, things just come up and you deal with them. This current lifetime of mine is meant to be one of enjoyment and 'savoring moments', and I'm in Flow, so the way that 6th mature seems to manifest the most lately is that I feel the weight of difficult past lives, or ones that have accumulated (as if I've just paid back a boatload of karma), and that I've been sent away (to Nz nonetheless) on spiritual/emotional/mental convalescence.

Being on the action axis, I also generally feel a bit guilty of 'resting' so much, or that I'm on a break at the seaside. lol. If I try to go too fast it's like life hits me over the head and emphasizes further that I must take my time and relax. Must slow down.  

[Nancy]

Thanks John, I've definitely come across the concepts of mindfulness (in counseling and elsewhere), and it does help when I utilize it. Also helps to just become more aware, not detached, but just noticing 'what's going on' in a simultaneously objective and subjective way... things even like sitting on a log by a river and watching a flock of geese. Yields enormous insights! Somehow.

And this someone said to me a while ago (when I was more turbulently depressed):
"Have you ever considered picking up Taoism? I can't recall ever seeing someone so in need of a way of escaping conventional thinking. I can't say it would make you feel better, but you might find some peace in the freeing of your intuition from the more active elements of thought."

The more I read about 6th mature, the more it seems like it can also be a very exciting time of emotions, the metaphor of having reached the top of the mountain and now one is starting to slide back down (with all the unhandled junk). The "okay, alright, I'll just DO this" seems to have its own momentum, things just come up and you deal with them. This current lifetime of mine is meant to be one of enjoyment and 'savoring moments', and I'm in Flow, so the way that 6th mature seems to manifest the most lately is that I feel the weight of difficult past lives, or ones that have accumulated (as if I've just paid back a boatload of karma), and that I've been sent away (to Nz nonetheless) on spiritual/emotional/mental convalescence.

Being on the action axis, I also generally feel a bit guilty of 'resting' so much, or that I'm on a break at the seaside. lol. If I try to go too fast it's like life hits me over the head and emphasizes further that I must take my time and relax. Must slow down.  

I read this and its as if I could have written it.  Right up to the very last full stop.  I'm Nancy, and from what you have written, in the same space as you :-) 

You aren't alone :-)

Nancy

[Drury]

I'm a sage, 6th level mature, and I've had people tell me that mine is one of the worst/most difficult lives they've ever heard of, in almost every way.  So yeah, I understand 6th level mature, lol.  I'm lucky that I'm a sage, who can find fun almost no matter what is happening, that I have an attitude of spiritualist, and that I believe in life after death, so I don't feel like I've lost the only-one-lifetime lottery.  

[Velleity]

I've had people tell me that mine is one of the worst/most difficult lives they've ever heard of

Really? Sorry to hear that Drury. It does put some things in karmic perspective though, with regards to how some people just seem to suffer more than others or keep getting things thrown at them from life. I had always wondered that.   

I'm sure people would say I have a pretty easy life, except that I have 'trials', and am 'working things out'.

so I don't feel like I've lost the only-one-lifetime lottery

I know, I'm not sure sometimes how people live with thinking that this is the only life they'll ever get...

And thanks Nancy. Maybe it's the tail-end of 6th mature where the 'need to convalesce' starts coming in.

[Drury]

Because I've had major issues for my entire life, I've never been able to go through typical life stages like other people or follow through with the life plan I had in my 20s, which included a degree and career.  A few months ago, when I brought it up to my husband, he said it doesn't mean my life was less significant than others', it's just been different, which is how I now look at it.  It's not that I haven't had a good time, it's that my life has been very constricted in various ways.  Maybe since I'm an honorary Priest, I've felt a strong push to help the world in some way, which I haven't been able to follow through with to any great extent.  But I hope that I'm changing inside and working off karma, so this life will be overall a plus.  It would be hard to live a life thinking it's the only one.  My husband lives that way and feels stress and a lot of time pressure.

[John Roth]

Because I've had major issues for my entire life, I've never been able to go through typical life stages like other people or follow through with the life plan I had in my 20s, which included a degree and career.  A few months ago, when I brought it up to my husband, he said it doesn't mean my life was less significant than others', it's just been different, which is how I now look at it.  It's not that I haven't had a good time, it's that my life has been very constricted in various ways.  Maybe since I'm an honorary Priest, I've felt a strong push to help the world in some way, which I haven't been able to follow through with to any great extent.  But I hope that I'm changing inside and working off karma, so this life will be overall a plus.  It would be hard to live a life thinking it's the only one.  My husband lives that way and feels stress and a lot of time pressure.

As far as "typical life stages" go, I'm reminded of a comment in Generations, by Strauss and Howe. Gail Sheeley's Passages works fine for Boomers, but falls apart for Gen-X.

[Drury]

That's interesting, John - thanks.  I still feel like I'm in my 20's, maybe because I'm one of those sages who never grows up.   

BTW, I've never talked about my problems on the internet in my many thousands of posts on various forums, and rarely talk about them in real life.  If someone in real life wants to know how I'm doing, I give it two minutes max, then I'm on to something more interesting.  I'm talking about it on this forum because karma is an underlying issue with much of what is talked about, and especially how it relates to soul ages.

[Velleity]

I've never been able to go through typical life stages like other people or follow through

Ah, I see. I'm actually in a similar boat in that regard. Or at least, I feel my life turned quite different from my peers once I hit 20... I had a breakdown, don't have a career (barely have a degree, I hated getting one), don't have a job (have never really had a steady one), am in psychotherapy having had to deal with personal issues that others I know don't seem to have to 'deal' with. Or yeah, I got thrown off the rails and didn't progress 'normally' (or what is normal for the u.s., I shudder to think!).

But I hope that I'm changing inside and working off karma, so this life will be overall a plus

I hope so too. Is yours more general karma (from the world and people) or do you have a lot of self-karma as well? Mine seems to be mostly self-karma.

[Dave]

I've never been able to go through typical life stages like other people or follow through

Ah, I see. I'm actually in a similar boat in that regard. Or at least, I feel my life turned quite different from my peers once I hit 20... I had a breakdown, don't have a career (barely have a degree, I hated getting one), don't have a job (have never really had a steady one), am in psychotherapy having had to deal with personal issues that others I know don't seem to have to 'deal' with. Or yeah, I got thrown off the rails and didn't progress 'normally' (or what is normal for the u.s., I shudder to think!).

That's quite a burden, I agree, but you're also a perceptive, insightful, and talented young woman with tremendous upside. And I know it's a challenge, but in the above paragraph you do a great deal of comparing. If you constantly compare yourself to what others are doing in society you'll always be miserable. Just be YOU. That's good enough.

Best,
Dave

[Velleity]

Just be YOU. That's good enough.

Yep, that's one of the big things I'm working on actually.  ... Perhaps arrogance set in very early then, as that was a main yet subtle message I was given throughout childhood (i.e. talented but not 'good enough' in other ways). 

Anyway.  I don't see my 'stuff' as a burden really (or at least anymore), and I've relatively gotten over most of 'what my peers are doing that I'm not doing' thinking. I was more stuck on that for a while when I was more mired in. But the comparisons made here were more in light of 6th mature, maybe it came off as too whiny but it wasn't meant to be that way.

[Dave]

Oh, I didn't think you were being whiney. I just wanted to give you an inspirational boost. It sounded like you were feeling a bit overwhelmed. And yes, I could see how the things you mentioned might factor in to mature 6.

Best,
Dave

[Nancy]

Drury/Elisabeth:

I have *always* been quite different from my "age" peers for as long as I can remember.  It only bothered me when I noticed that my *uniqueness* made me feel isolated from my peers as I couldn't quite grasp why they thought things important that, to me, were superficial at best.   I never vocalised it because internally I was too busy berating myself for being judgemenal.

Now, add that to growing up in the US, where normal is subjective at best and superficial at its worst (in at least one aspect).   Fitting in, cliques, going with the "flow" of what everyone else was doing.  I was lucky, in a lot of ways because my parents were both very intelligent and different in their own way although I confounded the hell out of my mother.  My grandfather (paternal grandfather) "got" me.  I fully realise how lucky I was to have him in my life til he passed on when I was 10, because that kind of unconditional acceptance and love is a gift that not many people ever receive.

That being said, I do carry a lot of family karma, and I have strugged with it for a very long time.  It is only in the past six or seven months that I feel I have "redeemed" (for lack of a better word) myself through some serious family stuff that went down.
In the end, when the sh*t hit the fan, I was the clean up crew/family consigliore - sort of thrown into it and as I was being tossed I went through major denial (I don't want to do this, I dont' want to deal with it) but in the end I had no choice.  Bloody hard, but I came out the other side with a sense of redemption.   I've thrown off the yoke of the family karma. 

But of course now, I have to help the husband do the same thing - ie. throw off the yoke of the family karma.  He is getting there slowly (and I have to admit I am shocked SHOCKED at the things some people do to their own children and appalled at the collateral damage it causes).

Elisabeth - trust me when I say you are the in the best place to heal and then grow.   I will never leave NZ....EVER.  I do believe that a big part of my being able to just be me, has a lot to do with being HERE.  The energy is just so.....good.  :-)

HTH's

Blessings
Nancy